The Normal Eating Approach
People don't eat compulsively because they're insane or masochistic or lack self-control.
People eat compulsively because it fills important needs that they don't know how else to fill.
It's not reasonable to expect to be able to give up something that's filling key needs for you.
That's why diets don't work - you can't just decide to live without having your needs met.
The pressure from internal distress eventually causes you to fill the needs in the only way
you know how - eating.
The Normal Eating approach is to help you to discover what needs food is filling
for you so you can meet these needs in other ways. This removes the compulsion, which is much
more effective than trying to control or suppress the compulsion.
There's no sacrifice involved because food is never the best solution to any
problem but physical hunger. If you're using food to cope with a non-hunger problem, there is
always something else you can do that will work better than eating.
Compulsive eating meets emotional needs in two primary ways:
1. As a distraction from what's really bothering you - a way to flee conscious
awareness of life problems and conflicts that you fear will overwhelm you, push you beyond
your ability to cope.
2. As a way to comfort yourself (and rebel!) when you feel trapped in a bad situation
with no power to change it - a response to feeling victimized.
When you can surface what's really bothering you - not in a general way, but
specifically - the urge to eat compulsively goes away, because you no longer need the functions
it serves (proof that you're not insane after all!).
The distraction element becomes irrelevant once what's really bothering you enters
conscious awareness. You realize you can cope, so you no longer need to be distracted. Our fear of
something is always worse than the reality of it.
And once you have conscious awareness of the true problem, you become able to
explore your options - you realize that you have options - so you no longer feel trapped and
powerless. Once you are coping with a situation for real - exploring real solutions - you no
longer need food bandaides for comfort.
People often don't see their options, but no matter how difficult a situation is,
there are always options. One reason people don't see their options is that they resist allowing
the problem into conscious awareness. You can't find solutions to problems that you won't allow
yourself to think about!
Normal Eating is a four-stage program for getting at these underlying issues and learning to deal
with them differently so you no longer need to eat as a way to cope. The four stages of Normal Eating,
the learning goals at each stage, and the exercises for achieving these goals are laid out in the
ebook that you have access to after becoming a member.
|