Normal Eating Support Forum -

Both Why Weight and Normal Eating are programs for helping people to overcome compulsive eating, stop dieting, and eat normally, so of course there are some similarities. But there are also some very significant differences.

1. Why Weight focuses on weight loss.

The most important difference between Why Weight and Normal Eating is that Why Weight, like all Geneen Roth's books, focuses on weight loss as a goal. In fact, this is the biggest difference between Normal Eating and all other non-diet approaches. I think that focusing on weight loss as the goal is the single biggest reason that the non-diet approach doesn't work for people. Making weight loss your goal is the tail wagging the dog - it doesn't work. You can't listen to your body and trust what it's telling you if your mind is constantly trying to second guess it.

2. Why Weight correctly identifies the causes of emotional eating, but does not give effective tools for applying this knowledge.

Geneen Roth went through a process of recovery with a therapist and can accurately describe the key emotional issues that drive compulsive eating, but she's not a therapist herself (as she's the first to admit) and her expertise is not in helping people to apply this knowledge. She can only describe it. Her descriptions are movingly eloquent - she's a great writer - but a general awareness that you eat when you feel angry (for example) does not help you to not eat when you're angry.

The Why Weight approach of having you write long essays about each general issue is not an effective way to get at what's driving an individual's eating. Recovery doesn't happen in the abstract, and it doesn't happen in after-the-fact in leisurely reflection. Recovery happens in the moment that you have a craving to eat. That's when you have the opportunity for insight that is actionable and leads to recovery. That's why Normal Eating so strongly emphasizes the importance of pausing to reflect when you have a desire to eat when you're not hungry. Sitting with the discomfort of the compulsion for long enough to realize what's triggering it is how you get well.

The exercises at the very beginning of Why Weight about imagining yourself fat or thin in different situations comes from the guided fantasies in Fat is a Feminist Issue. I don't fault Geneen for using a good idea - I did the same. The guided fantasies I developed for Normal Eating (and which I'll be offering for sale in the coming weeks) were also inspired by ideas in Fat is a Feminist Issue. I started there, and then changed and added things in ways I felt made it more useful.

The problem with the Why Weight "imagine" exercises is that they use the essay-writing vehicle (as with everything else), and that is not an effective method to get at these issues. When you engage your left-brain by writing, you can't access your right-brain as freely, and this is a right-brain exercise. Guided fantasies (sitting with your eyes closed while imagining what a voice is describing) is dimensions more effective. There's no comparison. It's another example of where Why Weight correctly identifies an important issue, but doesn't provide an effective tool to apply this knowledge.

3. Why Weight lists four stages, but these are descriptive rather than prescriptive.

This is another example of how Why Weight describes the "destination", but not the path to get there. The only similarity between the Why Weight stages and the Normal Eating stages is that there are four of both.

The Why Weight stages describe what to expect - e.g. you'll be able to eat when hungry before you can stop when full, the whole process will take you 1-2 years, etc. It's basically a description of what will magically happen to you when you stop dieting, but it doesn't give you effective tools to move you through the process.

These are the Why Weight stages:

I. Acknowledgement there's a problem.
II. Reaction against deprivation.
III. Identifying and solving all the problems that cause you to eat compulsively.
IV. Joy in recovery.

Stage III is the part that people have a trouble with, and that's what the Normal Eating stages break down into subgoals, with tools to achieve these subgoals.

The Normal Eating stages are not descriptions of what you can expect; they are checkpoints on the way to the ultimate goal - a roadmap for getting there. Each stage describes a key learning that you need to achieve for recovery, and successive stages build upon the learning of the previous stages. The four stages of Normal Eating, the learning goals at each stage, and the exercises for achieving these subgoals are laid out in the ebook that you have access to after becoming a member.

Testimonials

Your writings on the website and the “monitored” discussion group have helped me with my disordered eating and co-dependant issues more than I can say.

I found my way to your website from a reference on a WW forum about Geneen Roth’s books, I read all of them and found hope. Unfortunately, her writings alone were not enough and I could not find a way to implement her ideas on a daily basis. That’s where you come in; your web site has laid out my way to freedom! The steps are “easy”, the work is hard! But you have made it doable without compromise. I like you’re no nonsense way of expecting people’s best efforts without giving them a sense of failure if they don’t “get it” right away!

The quality of your discussion group is beyond anything I have ever experienced. You are solely responsible for this because you monitor the ongoing discussion to keep everyone on track. This has created a safe, healthy group that is able to share on a deep level because of your active direction. I am so appreciative of this!
-Support Group Member